The Shadow of His Wings

Psalm 36:7" How precious is Your lovingkindness, O God! The people take refuge in the shadow off Your wings." I'm seeking refuge in Him. It's probably not a good day for me to post as I don't want to come across negative. Dad, my brother and my sister and I did a conference call and have decided to put a feeding tube in mom. She's down to about 90 lbs. and not eating. It is so hard to get her medicine into her, she spits it out. This is really hard on my dad. He sits with her at the rehab center from 7:30 in the morning until the staff puts her to bed at night. Most of the time she is fine but days like yesterday and today are tough because she tells him to leave and this morning hit him in the mouth. It's the Parkinson's playing tricks on her mind but it tears my heart. She has always been so loving and kind. Dad reads the Bible to her and prays with her but I know she doesn't grasp anything right now. Yesterday, dad and I were able to get mom to eat a jello which felt like such an accomplishment, today, nothing. On a positive note, the follow-up CT scan that Greg had done last Friday was clear! Thank you Jesus! Whatever was going on in his lungs in June/July has resolved. In our online Bible Study, the hashtag this week is #Movingforward. The author spoke about being intentional in listening to the "right" voice. We will hear many voices in any given situation. When going through troubled times, I need to be still and seek Him, listening for His still, small voice to speak truth in my life and in my heart. I picture myself still and small, nestled under His wings, listening for His voice of love, mercy and kindness to lead me in the path of His choosing. It is in taking refuge in Him that I feel the most at peace, the most comfortable with the situations in my life. I don't have to do it alone, I only need to hide in Him, to claim His promises as His child, knowing that it is His strength that will get me through! But even so, I do not want to stay rooted in uncertainty but move forward knowing that my God will perform wonderful things in my life.He is my all in all!

A Big Day

I'm confident in my God's ability to clear me. I know I'm speaking somewhat veiled but I cannot go into this any clearer right now. My God is my all. If not for Him these past few months, I would've given up. He can do all things. Psalm 63:7 "For Thou hast been my help, and in the shadow of Thy wings I sing for joy."

#Perfectlove

In reading Chapter 2 of Renee Swope's book "A Confident Heart", she says,'if we only live on the surface with God, we'll never experience the intimacy we long for or the acceptance and security He offers." She goes on to say, "A personal relationship with God sets us free to be all we were created to be". These two ideas really made me think. I want to go deeper. I believe there is a hole in each human that longs for Him. We try to fill that hole with love from another, alcohol, parties, whatever. We search to "find ourselves" thinking that something is going to give us that moment when we say, "Yes! I've reached my self-fulfillment". But, only through a deeper, more intimate relationship with Him, will I finally find satisfaction and fulfillment. I was created to love Him, to serve Him, to be in a relationship with Him. And not just an acquaintance but in a meaningful relationship. When self-doubt tells me that I will never be good enough, that there is something that I'm missing and am too dumb to figure it out, that He wouldn't care to spend time with me or to watch over me and be intimate with me, I will remember Philippians 1:6 "For I am confident of this very thing, that He who began a good work in you will perfect it until the day of Jesus Christ".

A Confident Heart and bearing fruit

I just started an amazing study with many women, online! I have only read the first chapter and I am already blessed and so excited to read more! God blesses us with many different blessings when we need it the most! He uses something different each time. I had been clinging to Jeremiah 29:11 since July when it felt like everything in my life fell apart. I have 2 new verses this week, Jeremiah 17:7-7 "Blessed is the man who trusts in the Lord, whose trust is the Lord. For he will be like a tree planted by the water, that extends its roots by a stream and will not fear when the heat comes, but its leaves will be green, and it will not be anxious in a year of drought nor cease to yield fruit." Both Greg and I have talked about what a story we will be able to tell at the end of this year. God is so faithful! Greg went into business for himself in February. He cut off his finger in March and has had three surgeries and miraculously, it does not look too bad! We continue to pray for jobs for him. Being self-employed is difficult. Mom's health has been deteriorating, at first slowly. I was fired in July, with an ongoing saga that will hopefully be finished after my appointment on October 24th. God knew that dad and mom would need help and so, being unemployed, first time in my life!, I have been able to help out. Mom has gotten worse so quickly since July. She is currently in the hospital, the tenth time in the past two and a half months. She has new onset of seizures, never had seizures before. Kristen started college at the end of August. Greg and I are adjusting to our "empty nest". And Lord-willing, I will be starting a new job November 18th, in a field I have been interested in for several years but never had the confidence to try! If I do get this job, my pay is comparable to what I had been making, and the benefits exceed all that I have ever had! God is amazing! Please pray that through all, Greg and I will remain like that tree, planted by the water with our roots extended to Him so no matter what comes in our lives, we stand strong and yield fruit!

October

Wow! It's October already! So much going on. I was indeed offered the position and am now just waiting on the background check. Starting date is November 18, 2013! I've got my fingers crossed that this works out and I'm very excited! More of that later. Greg has a job through next week and then nothing, praying something comes about. God is able! He alone provides and cares for us like no one else can. Greg and I went to the cabin this past weekend for a much needed rest and get away. Awesome time together! Short and sweet!